Coming out to Mom and Dad

So, here are my notes for my coming out video to my parents. I've pretty much decided to do a video and send it to them or post it on YouTube and send them the link. This way, they can view my other videos, I can link to other sites, and they can really see what's going on without bothering me.

List of things I need to say in the video:

• Need to watch the entire video! If they don't watch the whole thing, then don't expect to hear from me again.
• I'm not happy the way I am currently. I feel like a lot of things that I am having trouble with in my life, this decision will fix.
• Thank you for never forcing me to be something I wasn't. You've made this decision easier on me by teaching me to question. I appreciate all you did for me and I cherish my childhood.
• As for our relationship, I need some time to think. I don't feel I can trust either one of you to be supportive or to tak this in an adult way. For that reason, I need time to think about our relationship. Please do not call me. Do not show up at my work. If you have questions, there are a variety of resources online. If you would like to contact me, you can e-mail me only.
• I need some time to really think about how I feel about my family and if I've mistaken parental love for disrespect. And you need time before you talk to me to think. This is a decision I've made as an adult and cannot (and should not) be compared to any decision I've made as a child.
• I'm not willing to debate about this decision or accept any false acceptance. I've given you six years to adjust to Angie and me being in a relationship, and I feel you still disrespect not only our relationship, but also her as my partner. This fact has caused me much emotional and psychological grief. I cannot accept the way you've treated us or allow you the same chance again.

I keep wondering if I'm being harsh. I see all these other trans people constantly worried about how their parents will treat them, but I'm more worried about how I should treat my parents. Best case scenario, I think what will happen is I will get a false acceptance. My parents will say "We support you." like they always do. Then, they'll bitch and moan, or act like nothing's happening, or argue with me about the when, wheres, and whys. I can't take any more of that from them. And I can't accept any less than a complete, "okay, you're a man to me now". They've already put me through so much, and (my "only" parents or not) I don't deserve that. I deserve the best. My friends have given it to me without pause. Surely the people who've known me for 23 years, gave birth to me, cared for me when I was sick, SURELY they should give me the BEST response. I feel that is only fair. Unfortunately, I think that my father will be the only one to give me this false acceptance, the old "You'll always be my little girl" routine. I think Mom will cry and moan and make a huge fuss, which I also can't take. I think this is the best way to do things while still being somewhat fair to them.

Things I need to do before telling them:

• Get my stuff from Mom's house
• Get my websites downloaded to the computer and backed up so I can put them up on my own account server someday.

I feel like that list is so long, but look how short it is. I guess I am getting pretty close to ready.

Timing:

• Name change: Begin in March
• Begin Testosterone: April 22nd ish
• Move Date: May 31st
• Birth Cert Change: Early May
• Driver's License Change: Mid May
• SS Card Change: Mid-Late May